Monday, March 26, 2007

Not one hour after I'd dropped my parents and my grandmother at the airport to catch their flight to Tel Aviv, my mother called me from her cellphone. Before I answered I made a silent bet with myself -- either she was bored, or someone's passport had been left in the kitchen drawer.

Turns out it was neither: Once the reluctant subject (perpetrator) of so many you-just-can't-make-this-stuff-up tales, my mother has evolved into a devoted field reporter, phoning me without delay to describe every blogworthy run-in with store clerks, family members and low-ranking security officials.

"You're gonna love this one," she chuckled. "Take notes."

Apparently, as my family were inching through the airport security check, the inspectors repeated their mantra - "no liquids, no gels, no aerosols" - in the vain hope that some amongst the herd would take initiative and spare them a bit of work and time.

"We were getting closer and closer to the front of the line, and as we were taking off our shoes Grandma started looking a little panicky," Mom said. "Daddy noticed too. So we asked her what in the world was wrong."

"Dey said no aerosols," said Grandma in a worried tone. "I don't know vhat to do. I hev a few in my bag."

"A few? We're only going for a week. It's not even the humid season yet! Just how much hairspray did you think you would need?"

She spat back, "I'm vorried about how I'm goink to valk around all day; who gives a crep about my hair?"

And for a moment the three of them stood there staring at each other, until the light bulb flashed above my mother's head.

"Oh, Ma..." she said through a relieved sigh, "It's fine. You're allowed to bring your Aerosoles on the plane."


michelle said...

hahahahahha...that's a really good one!! i'll forever remember this joke when I travel.

I-66 said...

Seriously, I love your family.

East-West Girl said...


It sounds like a bad pun joke, but it was totally real, which makes it great.


David said...

very funny story. brings back memories of my grandmothers. too bad myron cohen isn't around to hear this one.

Old Lady said...

Snort snort!

Barbara said...

I love your grandmother. I think it's cute too that your mom is looking for material for you. Sort of like a scout. Do you imagine they're all killing each other by now?

playfulinnc said...

Oh man, that is the stuff of great comedies and many a great play.

wharman said...

You're funny and your little grandma too.