Wednesday, February 08, 2006

It frustrates me to no end when beautiful people dumb down their looks. This woman on the bus today -- she had fine, delicate features, flawless skin, the stature and posture of a ballerina. But everything on and around her person was a variation on the color poo: Shoulder-length brown hair pulled back in a bland ponytail, nude pantyhose, tan pumps, tailored skirt suit in a buff-and-coffee tweed. Sandy coat. Khaki scarf. There are a million synonyms for 'earthtone' but at the end of the day they're all shades of dirt. (And you know how I feel about beige.) This girl was beautiful, if you were looking, but nothing about her getup would ever draw the eye. Every day is Halloween for her, and her costume is "Toast."

Now the guy next to her in the baby-pink tie -- not a natural beauty, but I found him quite appealing. Yessiree. Smartly dressed in navy with splash of color and an orange scarf to boot. Funky curls. Sideburns. Fabulous European shoes. He had this grown-up Bruno Martelli thing going on. No, I'm not giving you a link for Bruno Martelli. If you're so young that the name Bruno Martelli doesn't ring a bell then you can go look it up. You kids today with your instant gratification... In my day hotlinks were served with pancakes and The 'Net was a clumsy but suspenseful movie with Sandra Bullock and that sexy British guy who must have a lousy agent otherwise I'd remember his name. Back then we had to work for our information. I'm not so foolish as to think you'll crack a book in search of Bruno Martelli, but if you really want to know who he is the least you can do is type it in yourself. (Who am I kidding, you'll totally copy and paste. Punk.)

What the hell was I talking about? Oh -- looking drab. Right. It's like cooking without salt. Even the finest ingredients are inedible if you don't spice them up a bit. As my best friend used to say on her grubbier days, "Ugh. Let's just get takeout and rent a movie. I'm not fit for human consumption today." Exactly, girl. Exactly.

11 comments:

Jamy said...

Apparently some of us are too old to know who Bruno Martelli is. I never did watch that show.

Carol in NoVa said...

Jeremy Northam

Washington Cube said...

Thank you, Carol. I was going to offer than up. He shows up in so many period films, I would love to see him in something really dirty and nasty. He could go all Borstal Boy on us.

At least you didn't turn into the Fashion Police and slap some citation on her, but file her under "what a waste." Pity.

East-West Girl said...

How could you not know who jeremy northam is?! dear me. maybe I've seen Emma one too many times...

I second your call on color. A little spunk and verve in the wardrobe can help anyone look a little more alive and interesting. But I do have to remind you that DC is, well, not known for it's fashion. On the other hand, NYC is only a weekend trip away.

And Bravo to mr. martelli's double. It is Damn hard to find decent fun, colorful clothing for men.

RoarSavage said...

Clowntown-- love it!
And how could Northam ever be better than Knightly in Emma? I mean seriously. HOTNESS!
I'm one of the bland ones today. I'm head-to-toe in brown and I didn't put any make-up on. But then I read that the monotone look is in and models keep their skin clear by NOT wearing makeup... Whatever.

Kristin said...

I like brown but a lot of people shouldn't wear it. I'm probably one of them, but that doesn't stop me. I'm one of the more hypocritical members of the fashion police - happy to serve a citation but while fully deserving six or seven of my own.

I-66 said...

I don't wear very much brown... I have to get the shade right or it blends in with me skin.

Then I look naked.

always write said...

I should clarify: I am not anti-brown. I wear brown. Like a chocolate brown sweater. Or coffee-colored pants. But not from head to toe. I admire Mr. Hankey's spirit and his can-doo attitude, but not so much his fashion sense.

playfulinnc said...

Black is still classy, sexy, smart, and a host of other good things.

Pair it with a nose ring, visible tatoos, and vampire red lips? Then you gotta problem.

Gordon said...

Bruno Martelli under the watchful eye of Mr Shorofsky, its all coming back.

Merujo said...

I'm so very, very glad that I work in an environment where people are welcome to be fairly laid back (and creative) about their attire (writes the woman in the wedgewood blue turtleneck and the crazy pink/blue/green/orange/white shawl-scarf-y thing.) I have no looks to dumb down, so I might as well have fun!!