It frustrates me to no end when beautiful people dumb down their looks. This woman on the bus today -- she had fine, delicate features, flawless skin, the stature and posture of a ballerina. But everything on and around her person was a variation on the color poo: Shoulder-length brown hair pulled back in a bland ponytail, nude pantyhose, tan pumps, tailored skirt suit in a buff-and-coffee tweed. Sandy coat. Khaki scarf. There are a million synonyms for 'earthtone' but at the end of the day they're all shades of dirt. (And you know how I feel about beige.) This girl was beautiful, if you were looking, but nothing about her getup would ever draw the eye. Every day is Halloween for her, and her costume is "Toast."
Now the guy next to her in the baby-pink tie -- not a natural beauty, but I found him quite appealing. Yessiree. Smartly dressed in navy with splash of color and an orange scarf to boot. Funky curls. Sideburns. Fabulous European shoes. He had this grown-up Bruno Martelli thing going on. No, I'm not giving you a link for Bruno Martelli. If you're so young that the name Bruno Martelli doesn't ring a bell then you can go look it up. You kids today with your instant gratification... In my day hotlinks were served with pancakes and The 'Net was a clumsy but suspenseful movie with Sandra Bullock and that sexy British guy who must have a lousy agent otherwise I'd remember his name. Back then we had to work for our information. I'm not so foolish as to think you'll crack a book in search of Bruno Martelli, but if you really want to know who he is the least you can do is type it in yourself. (Who am I kidding, you'll totally copy and paste. Punk.)
What the hell was I talking about? Oh -- looking drab. Right. It's like cooking without salt. Even the finest ingredients are inedible if you don't spice them up a bit. As my best friend used to say on her grubbier days, "Ugh. Let's just get takeout and rent a movie. I'm not fit for human consumption today." Exactly, girl. Exactly.