Tuesday, January 31, 2006

This is when it sucks not to have cable. Bush's State of the Union (or, as it's known in my house, "The Fine Mess I've Gotten Us Into This Time") is on every. single. channel. All six of them. And you know how I feel about the president taking up my TV time. Thank God for the Internet and its bounty of instant-access entertainment. If you've never checked out Atom Films, I recommend it highly.

Right now, on my computer screen, a claymation Urbunny is being rendered into street meat as he's dragged behind a sedan in rush hour traffic. He's making the most adorable little bunny sounds. It's sort of sweet.

Meanwhile, on my TV screen, a rather animated chimp dressed in people clothes -- I swear, you'd almost believe he was human -- is moving his lips while the audience on his left stands and claps, grinning widely, like so many monkeys with cymbals between their paws. They're not making any sounds, because I pushed the Mute button 20 minutes ago, which is also so. fucking. sweet.

Technology really came through for me tonight.


I-66 said...

I turned the TV off at 9. Thinking I'd escaped it all, I wandered downstairs at around 10:20 and caught a glimpse of the TV that was on, though nobody was in the room.

Me: "Democratic response?! What the fuck?"
TV: "Yes, I-66. You cannot escape the politics! MWAHAHAHAHA"

Okay the TV did not actually say that... but it WAS looking at me funny.

Washington Cube said...

I watched Being Julia. When Bush was elected to a second term, I made a vow I would never listen to his insane, garbled babbling again...and I have not. Simple.

The Daily Rant said...

Thank God I'm in a truck. I don't have to see him OR hear him. Although, it is fun to watch the broadcast and tally up how many mistakes he makes during his speech. Monkey is the perfect word for him.

Snowflake Chaser said...

I'm sorry, the bunny was sooo NOT cute! I mean, maybe before there were no arms or legs left! Yech.

Otherwise, I highly recommend A Ninja Pays Half My Rent, also on AtomFilms. Hilarious.

Either way, I'd still rather watch the bunnies being grossly mangled than watch Gdub. Maybe that's the whole point.

Keith said...

You've gotta watch the 30-second movie recaps by bunnies at Angry Alien.

rick james said...

love your blog! its all new to me.. thanks for sharing.. put up a blog of really retarded things just recently.. if you wanna get stupid, come by and visit!

Reya Mellicker said...

You are sublimely funny. Could have lived without the pic of He Who Must Not Be Named, though I loved the thought of the bunnies being dragged around in rush hour traffic.

I had dinner with a friend last night, far away from any television or computer screen. It worked for me.

Larissa said...

Bush got in the way of my 'Love Monkey.' Now really that's going too far!

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

Re: your comment on el guapo:

always write said...

Compassionate yet vengeful -- with that $20 you wounded his pride more deeply than your leather sole would have broken his face. If there's a way to applaud you without wishing pain on the thief, that's what I'm doing. I clap for you with one hand.

8:36 AM

Druggies have no pride, dearest.

El Guapo expressed NO vengeful intentions at all, at any point in the drama. He was/is a compassionate hombre.

Oh, and regarding your answer to the 'Taste of Pennies' question on your Blogger Profile, Pennies are made of copper NOT iron! Only Star Trek Vulcans have copper tasting blood. Duh!

It is sad that I have to be the one to educate you DC cretins, and the price I pay, sheesh!

Delete and Ban would be your response, in case you are wondering.
You could express your hatred for me at my place?

always write said...


1. I know El Guapo is compassionate. But he was also pissed, and if pushing a mugger down in the street didn't inspire even the tiniest bit of satisfaction, he wouldn't be human. But you're right, pride wasn't the best word for that context. Hopefully it won't hurt my final grade.

2. I never said pennies are made of iron. But -- try to stay with me, here -- copper and iron are both metals. The taste of metal in your blood will as likely remind you of pennies as it will make you think of getting your tongue stuck to a frozen flagpole. But again, I admit some fault -- I should have clarified.

Thank you, Bilious, for holding us all to your ever-rising standard of excellence. The blogosphere will be better for it, I'm sure.

And please, lay off the C-word. You're a gifted writer and it's only distracting from your talent.

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

Lord tunderin' christ on a stick!

Semper Scripta (latin for: Always Write)
I am speechless! I was not deleted!
I's all chocked up and misty, I is.

'Hopefully it won't hurt my final grade.'

Touche, my dear, touche indeed!
( there should be an: 'acent ague' on the the 'e' of touche, but I haven't a clue how to do it, nor am I even sure I spelled 'acent ague' correctly. I ain't gots no Lingua Franca knowishness)

You are, of course, correct on the Cu / Fe conundrum. I read it the wrong way on purpose. I am a pudenda, I am!

'Thank you, Bilious, for holding us all to your ever-rising standard of excellence. The blogosphere will be better for it, I'm sure.'

Surely you jest? Say it ain't so Joe, say it ain't so.

'And please, lay off the C-word. You're a gifted writer and it's only distracting from your talent.'

I am not a writer! I am a physician with an MBA. Apart from my Kate post, the rest are all a year or two old. Re-posted from my two other sites where the C-word is used by all and sundry as casually as you yankees would say: 'Would you like frys with that?'
Though I have whipped you and flayed you,
by the lord god that made you, You're a better man than I,
Gunga Din
For 'man' read: woman
For 'Gunga Din' read: Semper Scripta

Barbara said...

Makes me glad I don't watch TV. The union didn't look any different to me as I drove into DC today for Bush having stated it last night...

Claire said...

I like cable tv, but when there's political bs airing, I love it.

I watched a rerun of Veronica Mars and The Closer.

East-West Girl said...

I was out eating a fried chicken caesar salad instead of watching him. And yet, the 'Chicken' aspect of my meal reminded me of him nonetheless. Sometimes you can't escape, even when you attempt to forget it all in forays of delicious food.

Gordon said...

Is that the chimp that the chumps voted for?

I-66 said...

east-west... good thing I stopped to re-read.

I originally read that you were eating out the salad... then I read that you were out eating the salad, as in eating more than it could... then I got it on the 3rd try.

Not that any of the other options are bad or anything...

East-West Girl said...

i66 - haha! you flatter me.

But you know, i was thinking about last night's televised ramble a bit more, and I realized - simply through his mere existence, the unnamed one has proven the theory of evolution to be true. i mean, it's like Always said, he's so obviously a monkey in a president's (lowercase p) body! granted, the rest of us are a little more evolved, or so i'd like to think... ;)