Monday, January 23, 2006

I think I've got a bad ovary. Lately her behavior... well, it's been erratic. Unpredictable. She's falling behind on the job. Could be booze, could be drugs -- I maintain a pretty strict clean-living policy but you never know what your employees are doing in their off time (and this one only works every other month). Now it seems she's absconded with my period, which is almost a week late and nowhere to be seen. (No, I'm not pregnant. Yes, I'm sure.)

If you run across these two please direct them back to work where they're needed.



UPDATE: A clue! This was in the Post today. The girls might be on some sort of pilgrimage, like hippies hitching to Woodstock.

28 comments:

Paulo said...

Did you draw that graphic?

Eeeet's breeeeliant.

Paulo loves you.

~Paulo

Reya Mellicker said...

Surely Bat-Danielle will track down this elusive ovary. Sending you energy. You are so funny.

Vixen said...

very, very funny! hope you find them both:)

I-66 said...

hahahaha... I love this.

Brilliant rendering of the period. I'll put out an APB on the both of them.

Kristin said...

That's hilarious.

Mer said...

Love the Flaubert reference! You're too much.

Velvet said...

I'm dying over here. This is so funny. Did you send the missing pics to the milk company so they can put them on their cartons?

always write said...

Actually I was thinking it might be more effective on the side of a Tampax box.

Larissa said...

ha! here's hoping you find it!

Chairborne Stranger said...

cmogood luck on your quest!

Washington Cube said...

When I was having surgery, in the recovery room, the surgeon came in and said to me, "While I was in there, I took a peek at your ovaries, and they are really clean." He was so proud of himself. TOTALLY creeped me out.

Anonymous said...

seriously, i just got the whole "og.Th" thing.

Washington Cube said...

I think I found your ovaries:


http://www.golimbs.com/products/
products.php?id=50117

Barbara said...

The real irony about ovaries is that you really don't need them to be doing their job during most of your life. It's maybe only once or twice at most that they really need to come through for you. How many other employees can you describe this way?

I-66 said...

I've needed the "electoral college" to come through twice in the past 5 or so years and they've failed me both times.

RoarSavage said...

I'm loving the Post article, up until the point where it describes paintings done in menstral blood. eeek!

And I still don't get the og.Th or the "electoral college." ...?

Gordon said...

They'll get bored after a while and make their way home. I mean I guess, not having, you know, direct ovarian experience as such.

Snowflake Chaser said...

I'm with roarsavage on this one, I don't get the og.th thing. I do get the electoral college bit, but don't really know how to explain (sorry, roarsavage).

RoarSavage said...

Hey, Snowflake, did you know no one can post on your blog? Weird...

Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

Cracking UP. I love it!

always write said...

It's a PERIOD. Like this one. And this one. (I'm glad I decided not to major in art, I would've been a spectacular failure.)

Snowflake Chaser said...

i assumed the og and the th meant something, especially when someone said 'oh now i get it!' Alas, it was all about the period.

playfulinnc said...

Just to let you know, two girls on my tour have this issue...one is too thin, and the other is not.

Both have maybe 5 periods a year. I would go insane.

Sometimes, I want to pee on a stick before I am late.

Merujo said...

Thanks for this post, D. That gave me a great big smile in the midst of a really insane workday. :-)

RoarSavage said...

Pee on a stick?

How am I the ignorant one in all this? I swear I've been menstrating for 9 years now...

El Guapo in DC said...

Una vez I found the test in my ex's house. I peed on the stick to see if anything happened. I'm not pregnant.

Mucho Amor,

El Guapo

RoarSavage said...

OOOOO, THAT kind of stick. I had this tree branch in my head..... lol. Slow today.

suze said...

muwahhahaha... that's fantastic.

perhaps they're off with my dysfunctional ovaries and my three weeks late period (and, no, i'm not pregnant either...and yes, i'm sure...)