Tuesday, September 27, 2005

When one declines a last-minute date on account of searing menstrual cramps, and tactfully explains that she's "just not feeling well today," and her suitor inqures as to what exactly is wrong -- ostensibly to display concern like so many peacock feathers but more likely to ferret out a suspected lie -- and the woman again gracefully dodges the ugly truth by saying she "didn't sleep well last night and worked way too hard today," and the man presses the issue by suggesting she go home, rest up, take a shower and come meet him for a drink because he's really in the mood for company... is it then inappropriate to shriek, "There's a citrus juicer wringing the lifeblood from my uterus!!!"?


I probably should've stuck with "I'm tired."

8 comments:

Ms. Monica said...

That'a just what happens when you mess with a woman that's PMSing.

JAX said...

you should get points for creativity. Us poor women!!!

I'm just checking out AJ's links and thought I would stop by!

maisnon said...

Yet ANOTHER example of why, sometimes, you shouldn't push.

AJ Gentile said...

Ha! I actually prefer the honesty. Ovaries in a bind? Say so.

Both of you should get everything on the table. You never know, it could help you realize that you are soulmates:

"I have cramps and don't sleep weel."

"Well, I snore."

"Um. I own 200 pair of shoes."

"I have a foot fetish."

Etc.

Aimee said...

Next time, tell him your Aunt Betty's visiting, you're riding the crimson wave, you need to go in the hut, you're hatching, you just rented the movie Red Dawn, etc. and see if he gets the hint.

Kayla said...

You are so polite and I am so crude, I would have said I have my period. If he pressed on, I would have thrown in some explosive diarrea just for the hell of it. You can definitely not just mention the fact that your boobs are swollen... somehow I think that would turn him on ;)...

always write said...

Yeah, I wanted to work that in but anything short of a t-shirt with "DON'T TOUCH THESE" printed across the chest just sounded like a come-on. (My ex-boyfriend used to say, "It must be that time of the month, 'cause your moons are full.")

DireWolf said...

you'd be surprised how much we appreciate honesty. if you had said, hey, nothing personal, i just have really bad cramps as I'm having my period, let's go out another time, how about saturday, the guy would have backed off, realized he has no reason to distrust you, feel good because you want to see him another night, and smile because he can now just jack off and go watch the game somewhere.

honesty.